What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

I see lots of pictures of women who have huge clits are they real or what?

What! how could you do that?

What do you mean son?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Stress-Linked Brain Pathway Disrupts Sleep and Memory - Neuroscience News

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

True - how I loved my mum!

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

I'm straight, so why do I love watching guys cum?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Do you know what she said mum?

Why can't my adopted sister accept she is not part of my family because she isn't related? Why can't she stop calling my parents mum and dad?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Why do our deceased do not protect us from other bad spirits?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”